I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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