for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
