im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was like eating out sand paper
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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