the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
