dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize