Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
