sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
