She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My ass is underappreciated
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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