This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
