? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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