My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
