let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
