she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize