So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
