When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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