You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
