Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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