dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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