I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
