You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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