Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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