You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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