I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
