he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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