her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
