An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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