"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
