But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize