oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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