I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
