Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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