Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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