How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I love having hate sex.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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