Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize