the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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