I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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