well most of my day revolves around power hour
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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