she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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