Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
