Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I intend to get homeless drunk
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
