Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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