my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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