I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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