I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
