We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Two words: nipple clamps
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