Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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