she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
