no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
