it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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