apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
