im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
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