Small penises have feelings too.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
