I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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