these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
