sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
