another moral hangover. fuck.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
