bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
