Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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