He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Just cropdusted the office
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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